Toe cleavage

Cosmetic surgery for better toe cleavage involves shortening the toe next to the big toe. Prom goers, generally of the female gender, are striving for total body perfection for the big night. So, they are now adding toe makeovers to the lengthy prom-preparation inventory, which had already included the elegant dress, the $250 hairdo, the salon-skin bake, the professionally installed fake nails, etc.

I'm always looking for something new and exciting to ponder. Today marked my introduction to the concept of "toe cleavage, " and I'm wondering if this new dimension of self improvement makes a real difference on the big rite of passage from adolescence to mature adulthood.

I learned about this phenomenon of "body beautiful" while reading a feature in today's Spokesman about people who insist on wearing "cruel shoes" er high heels. One woman, whose feet hurt because of her high heels, says she'll keep on wearing them because her podiatrist has never told her not to. DAH!!!

The story also discussed the pros and cons of cosmetic surgery on the feet. Apparently bones can suffer, so some doctors refuse to do such surgery, which is good, I guess.

This subject, of course, interests me because of a life spent covering up my ugly feet. They're really not THAT ugly, but my mother told me so one day, and I believed her. She also told me at age 5 I'd never get a job because I had a prison record (for stealing the neighbors' mail). I believed that, too, until I was 18 and realized a few people HAD hired me as a teen.

Now, back to the feet and toe cleavage. I'm trying to figure out if I've ever looked at anybody's feet and admired the cleavage. My daughter-in-law has very nicely manicured toes, but I've never noticed their cleavage. Maybe Willie has.

Back in 1965, I remember sitting on a dock at Camp Neewahlu on Lake Coeur d'Alene and listening to one of my camp colleagues, Pam Fawcett from Kellogg, discussing how she thought the feet were the ugliest part of the body. She happened to be beautiful.

As Pam spoke, I studied her tanned, chiseled feet with nice arches and refined toes with polished nails----and immediately changed position so my big flat floppers with ugly toenails wouldn't show up for immediate study. I figured she wasn't talking about HER feet; I figured she must have surmised this from observing other feet upon that dock on that very day.

As I think back on the scene, however, I do not recall any observation on her part or mine that included cleavage of the toes. And, as I fast forward through the years, searching out my memory for any other foot discussions other than "Hey, why doncha get some oars for those shoes?" or "Somebody's feet sure do stink bad!" I've never heard the term "toe cleavage" until this morning's Spokesman story.

So, now I have something new to think about. A great summer of barefoot observation lies ahead. I think I'll launch my own personal study of who has good toe cleavage and who needs to go see a willing foot cosmetologist.

Maybe the rage of this new foot phenom will convince Madison Avenue folks to replace that stupid dinner hour TV ad, talking about those pesky "dermadiphytes" lurking beneath the toenails, with something more sensually appealing.

After all, sexy toe cleavage does fit right in there with Cialis, doesn't it?