Costco specs

I'm getting mentally prepared for a Costco run today. Since that incident last year when my finger almost touched one of the sample chimchangas, which in turn set off the crazy woman in charge of the sample tray, I can feel stress building every time I go to Costco. Bill and I are going to the Hayden store today as part of our anniversary celebration, and I'm vowing to be very careful near the hand-outs.

We haven't made a Costco run for several months. It's time. We're down to three garbage bags from the supply purchased the same day I threatened to touch the chimichangas. The bags would have lasted longer if we hadn't been moving, but with the six trips we've made to the transfer station in the past few weeks, the supply has rapidly depleted itself.

Besides garbage bags, we need to stock up on paper towels. Bill, like his Depression-era mother, likes to stay ahead of the game on certain items in this house----garbage bags, cleaning materials and especially paper towels. Again, however, the moving process has taken a toll on his carefully-calculated projections that dictate if he purchases packages totaling at least 250 paper towel rolls, that amount should last us for at least two years and any possible paper shortages.

Our paper-towel roll count now stands at 4, so I'm figuring our Jimmy's back end is going to be pretty full when we pull away from the Costco today. I don't even want to talk about the cleaning supplies. Annie came home last weekend ready to pack and clean her bedroom only to find one dozen empty spray bottles sitting on the laundry room counter.

When she complained, I informed her that our cleaning-supply hoarder, who does logistics on forest fires, had missed miserably on his projections and that, of all times for needing Windex, Mr. Clean, wood cleaner and Comet cleanser, he had really slipped on his calculations. So, I'm expecting to see some giant containers of each of the above squashed in there with the towels and garbage bags.

As for me, I'm going to spend the time I don't spend sampling the chimichangas at the spectacles counter. I'm down to one set of Wal-Mart glasses without permanent smudges, bent frames or missing lenses. I do have a collection of various-powered lenses, but those are just for emergencies. It's time to stock up with some new models, and I've heard that you can get packages of spectacles at Costco in the half dozen count for about $15. That beats $17 apiece at Wal-Mart by a long ways.

I figure my newly-purchased supply ought to do me for at least a year, allowing me a set for hiding away in the medicine cabinet, one for the bedroom, the car, my computer and my purse. Of course, I'll have a pair around my neck for whenever I leave home. Lest any former optical assistants, who choose to remain anonymous, be reading this morning to swoop down on me with their expertise, I have tried the ophthalmologist route. One told me I needed glasses when I was 38.

I wore them for two years and swore I couldn't see as well with them as I could without them. Upon visiting another eye doctor and having my eyes tested, I was told there was no need for glasses and that probably during my forties and fifties, my arms would get too short just like most other people's. He added that I'd probably need a little magnification for reading. He was right.

I can't read telephone books, and they now make the tables too high at restaurants for me to see whether I'm ordering oysters or artichokes. So, I buy the cheap brand of glasses. Besides, if I paid $500 for one set of eye doctor glasses, I'd lose 'em within a month. I don't think they're very anxious to issue free replacements.

I'll get that package of specs today, and I'll also select one of those rotisserie chickens to smell up the car with wonderful chicken aroma all the way back to Sandpoint. Mother loves those, and every time we go to Costco, she puts in her order. We'll purchase a few more items too, like the $11. block of Tillamook Cheese and the 6-pack of pasta.

I can guarantee one item that won't be riding back in the Jimmy on this Costco anniversary celebration----no chimichangas. I learned my lesson last year, and my fingers will walk right past the free sample carts.


Note: The Sandpoint High Alumni website (www.sandpointhigh.com) continues to grow. My buddy Gary Pietsch took the big step yesterday and led the way for the Fabulous Fifties era. Last time I checked, 185 grads had signed up. The creators, Pete Neisen, Colt Mehler and Brian Fischer, keep updating the site. It's very attractive and now has the chat feature as well as several forums and polls. So, keep passing the word and encouraging your kids, siblings, parents, friends to sign up. Thanks.