Manure Spreaders International

Some folks think their tractors are so sexy they start clubs to admire each other's beauties, and they take them to parades. Others even get together in conventions across the country to talk Cummins diesel engines. In fact, I couldn't believe that I actually had a writing assignment once about a Cummins diesel engine gathering in Kellogg, which was one leg of the Cummins diesel tour. What a way to promote tourism, I thought.

Once, I also wrote a story about rail fans and how they cruise the country looking for ideal settings to catch a good picture of a cross-country freight train with a certain engine pulling the load. That story rose out the fact that Sandpoint is a hot spot for these rail fans to gather because of its designation as "The Funnel." The town rose because of its railroad past with three major lines running through the area: the Northern Pacific, Great Northern and the Spokane International aka Union Pacific.

If people get charged up about tractors, diesel engines and trains, why not give manure spreaders a try? I would be happy to lay the initial groundwork for a National Antique Manure Spreader tour. I just need a few interested bodies to help me promote the concept, and judging from my Farm Macheenery Exploding project yesterday, this may turn into a diamond in the ruff for a novel tourism extravaganza.

Fortunately, none of our farm implements exploded during their transport yesterday. Mr. Gary Nelson got the nod as Dan Smith's Evergreen Towing driver who would move our farmyard fleet. He came rolling into the driveway with his first delivery about 11 a.m. Gary was genuinely excited and equally proud to be hauling our manure spreader out HWY 95 and along Selle Road.

After our initial niceties, he couldn't wait to suggest that we hold on to some of the remaining stuff that Bill had labeled "Pacific Recycling" and give it extra life as yard art. He thought the manure spreader was, indeed, beautiful and suggested we keep at least one of the two plows bound for the recycling shop. Gary even pointed to a spot at the end of the driveway where the plow would look really nice.

I weakened quickly and said, "Okay, bring the smaller one." The smaller one is an Albertson Special---that is, it was hand-crafted by the Albertson family of Gold Creek. We bought it for $25 a few years ago at their yard sale. Gary said we ought to paint it up and plop it out there next to the road. I said Bill was concerned about the mowing and weed-eating necessities that come with a plow at the end of the driveway. Then, I came up with a novel idea: put it on a square platform where mowing would be much easier.

After our discussion, with great care, Gary backed the tow truck on to the front lawn and lowered the manure spreader to its new home in between the trio of tall poplars and the young orchard of apple trees. It looked perfect there. Gary and I stood for a moment admiring its rustic beauty with weathered wood and barn-red metal. I painted it a couple of years ago and started planting flowers in it.

Gary eventually went on his way and spent the rest of the day delivering the implements to their assigned spots. On his final run, he reported that the crane operator at Pacific Recycling was eyeing that two-bottom plow and commenting that he might just have to take it home himself.

During the day, I ran over to All Seasons Nursery and picked up some beautiful echinacea plants. The echinacea and some of my other flower pots went inside the manure spreader as did the scare crow crafted by Cheryl Klein's cheerleaders a few years back. The wooden scare crow with her pink corduroy bibs and long-sleeved shirt has gone through a sex change since my secret pal Jayne Davis gave her to me as a gift one year while I was still teaching.

The sex change, however, didn't involve a lot of hormone replacement, and it had nothing to do with her frustration of being a man living inside a woman's body. Instead, it had more to do with the fact that Kiwi had chewed off one of her pigtails. I figured the snip of the scissors would solve the problem of a poor embarrassed scarecrow with just one pigtail, so that's what I did. Instantly, "she" turned into "he" with a crewcut.

His improved self esteem is evident as he stands out there on the back of the manure spreader admiring his bevy of beautiful flowers. Speaking of All Seasons Nursery and pretty flowers, one of the clerks displayed a "covet thy manure spreader" attitude when she asked if I'd be willing to sell ours.

"My dad's been looking for one of those for eight years," she told me. "Where'd you get yours?"

"It's been on our place for more than 30 years," I responded.

"Well, is it photogenic?" she asked.

"Of course," I said, "and it will be especially so when these flowers are inside its box."

The clerk is a talented photographer who's learned her craft from none other than Ruthie Eich of Windward Studios, and she said she'd stop by sometime with her camera. Just like the rail fans, she appreciates a good manure spreader when she sees one.

So, with this much interest, I think manure spreaders offer a new and different way to get folks with cameras on the road, touring the country. Why not establish Sandpoint, Idaho, as the nation's manure spreader mecca!

Any takers, to my proposal? If so, do a drive by and check out South Center Valley Road's newest and most picturesque manure spreader. You may just want to get in on the act----if you can find your own model, that is.

From what I've learned, a good-looking manure spreader is hard to come by.