What? No Pluto?

I wanted to complain about Pluto s demotion, but before I got started, I noticed the apostrophe has gotten the same wrap. For some reason this morning, the apostrophe has been declared obsolete in the blogger world, so I m not allowed to use contractions today. Sure hope they get that fixed.

My focus this morning was gonna start out with Pluto and go from there, but the sudden apostrophe impairment took the lead. Every time I ve tried to type an apostrophe, something takes over the clipboard, burps and stops all action. So, those of you who read these blogs just to see if the old English teacher makes a mistake have no rights to complain today.

Now, on to Pluto. I ve just read that Pluto has been banned as a planet. No more will it appear on the maps of Outer Space as one of the nine big stars in the Earth s perception of the Universe. I m wondering this morning just how Pluto feels about this---probably the same as I do every time I try to type an apostrophe.

What is happening to all our icons? Yesterday I saw a bumpersticker with an American flag and the words "These colors don t rule the world." Of course the bumpersticker surely had an apostrophe in the word "don t," but since apostrophes have no rights as punctuation any more, I had to quote the bumpersticker incorrectly. While sitting behind that car which did not have a bumper sticker asking readers to "Imagine Whirled Peas," I thought about how topsy turvy our perceptions have become.

As a Catholic, I have witnessed topsy turvy in a big way since the days of nuns teaching us all those rules about Catholicism and guilt. A lady told me the other day that she had to go get finger-printed to work with her little Catholic Boy Scouts; she as much as told them that she resented such a thing after all the stuff the priests had done. I wondered if all the priests had gotten finger printed. She said they had been required to do so in Idaho, but that didn t make her any happier about finger printing after having been in the same parish for 30 years.

I can remember when we were taught that the priests were the closest thing to God we were ever gonna see in our lives. Nowadays, I think that s not exactly good PR for God.

And, now Pluto. I ve spent my lifetime memorizing planets and remembering that Pluto was out there a long, long ways away. What is Disneyland going to do? Wasn t Pluto named after that planet? Now, that goofy dog s namesake is nothing other than a generic mass among the masses in Outer Space, no longer one of the Big Nine. Now we have the Big Eight.

Oh well, they say education is going downhill these days, so in order to make it look better for the kiddies, they ll cut down the amounts they have to learn. Only eight planets and one less punctuation rule.

I can see the day coming (hope I m in Pack River Cemetery by that time) when the red, white and blue are banished in classrooms just like God was a while back. Maybe the folks who banished God had heard that line about the priests being the next best thing to God. Maybe they knew something the rest of us didn t. I have no idea what Pluto and the apostrophe did to get it in the shins this morning.

I m sure gonna miss them.