The deer are watching you . . . .

I couldn't help but think of Brent Tucker this morning. I don't know if he coined it or borrowed it from some hip TV program or movie at the time, but back in the mid-'90s while attending Sandpoint High School, he loved to proclaim from time to time, "The deer are watching you." Somehow it stuck, and I do chuckle about it whenever something awakens the saying from its storage compartment in my brain.

I thought about the comment a couple of days ago while reading the front-page story about the blogs revealing State Representative candidate Steve Elgar's habits and property ownership. The deer must have been watching during those boring Northern Lights meetings when Steve took a break at his assigned chair and gave his eyes a rest. That translated into "sleeping during meetings."

Now, I wasn't there, so I cannot comment on whether I think he was resting his eyes or, indeed, sleeping. Apparently, the deer were watching and reported his behavior to a blogger. And, apparently, Steve might have gotten upset because I've heard his ads on the radio where he proclaims that he's a conservative Democrat because he hunts and goes to church. So, the deer had better watch out for Steve, and Steve had better pray that they quit watching him during those meetings.

I watched a guy rest his eyes once. There were no deer sitting beside me. Instead, it was a group of teachers sitting in the high school auditorium at a very fired-up meeting about wages or something fairly urgent to teachers. Suddenly, someone nudged me and summoned me to look toward the top row. Our superintendent was resting his eyes. His chin was resting on his chest. We pretty much assumed he was sleeping during our all-important meeting, but we didn't ask the deer. We just laughed and said that was par for the course.

I guess the moral of this story is that appearance is everything because ya never know where those nosy deer might show up. Well, they showed up on my lawn during the night. I know because it snowed a lot here last night, and they left tracks. Now, today we're getting freezing rain on top of snow. And, sometime during the night after it snowed, a couple of deer walked through the front yard, pretty darned close to the house.

Maybe they came to watch TV. After all, "Ugly Betty" was on. I impatiently wait all evening on Thursdays through those endless ET exclusives about Anna Nicole for "Ugly Betty" to show up on ABC. I really like the program, especially the acting and the ongoing mini plots. The writers really know how to blend brutal comedy with heart-wrenching drama. I think that's nothing short of brilliant. I'm feeling more and more in tune with each character as the weeks go by. As that happens, my empathy for their individual inner turmoil increases.

The show does a lot to remind us of the old To Kill a Mockingbird theme. Ya can't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. After several weeks of "Ugly Betty," I'm feeling sad for Vanessa Williams' character. She appeared to be the beautiful cunning witch of the fashion world at the beginning, but those writers are slowly unveiling her fragile interior. Of course, I always feel aligned with Betty and her family, but the little surprises that keep emerging about other characters promise lots of fascinating plots ahead.

My only problem---and the deer who came by last night probably know this---is that sometime during each week's program, my eyelids take control. Without even asking permission, they just smack shut---sometimes for five minutes, sometimes for ten. So, each week there's a gap in my total understanding of all the nuances in this wonderful television program.

I wonder if those gaps occur when people rest their eyes in meetings. Most of the time when I sat in meetings, I was busy watching---like the deer---to see who was falling asleep. Or, when my friend Mike Flaim was around, the two of us---usually sitting across the room from each other--- engaged in such weighty matters as who could touch the tip of their nose more accurately with their tongue. It was usually a draw. Then, there was the remote controlled fart machine which Mike set under a colleague's chair. Somehow, A.C. Woolnough while conducting the meeting, never did catch on to the cause behind those snickers.

All that aside, let's get back to those trespassing deer. Their tracks headed south toward our "No Trespassing" neighbors. I've learned, however, that these neighbors WANT deer to trespass; they just don't want humans getting in their way. I'm hoping those snoopy intruders just don't continue on into Sandpoint and tell everyone that Marianne was resting her eyes during "Ugly Betty" last night. Then, I might have to defend my honor in a future Daily Bee front-page article----after the election, of course.

Brent Tucker, look at what you started!