To my friend, John, the John Joker

Dear John,

I'll bet you're nervous because you're receiving a "Dear John" letter. And, coming from me, you certainly should be shaking in your boots. After all, I've not yet gotten over your obvious amusement at the Rotary that day when you told everyone at the noon meeting about those snot-nosed kids climbing up on top of the Honey Bucket at The Festival and peering down at me as I was going No. 1.

That wasn't a nice thing to do, John. I should never have told you that story because I didn't think you'd repeat it to all the town business brass. I guess you just thought it was hilarious because it occurred in the John, and since your name is John, it's got to be funny. My whole psyche was injured for life when I heard that you had told the story. John, I've never been quite the same since. One of these days, you'll get your come uppance, but I'm writing this letter to you for an entirely different reason.

I'm writing to you, John, cuz you actually did a good thing. Oh, I know you have that company that provides nice employment and benefits for a bunch of locals. And, I read recently about those business wizards you attracted from the outside world to help keep the company cruising right along on a worldwide scale. Yup, old friend, you've done all right with (www.unicep.com), but that's not what I want to talk about.

Instead, I want to talk about your and your wife Mary's team effort in rearing that fine son---and those lovely daughters. I got to sit right behind Sarah last night at the candidates forum, and, of course we all love Sarah because she won the first "Harold Tibbs --- Toby I" memorial belt buckle a few years ago.

While sitting behind Sarah, I could whisper commentary into her ear whenever the mayoral and City Council candidates performed. I said some not so good things. I refused to say some things, and I said good stuff too. It was kinda like sitting in geometry class many moons ago when I used to whisper in the ear of the girl in front of me, only to see her kicked out of class one day after she got snotty with the teacher who reprimanded her for turning around.

I've always liked issuing quiet, often quirky commentary at events to whoever will listen, but I still feel bad about that girl getting kicked out of class when it was really all my fault that she had turned around to respond to some smart remark I'd made.

It was safer last night with Sarah because the theater was pretty dark, and people couldn't hear me anyway because of that clock in someone's pocket across the aisle that kept going off, announcing that "THE TIME AT THE TONE IS SEVEN P.M., just like my mother's living room Debbie clock.

Okay, back to Steven. John, he's an impressive candidate who demonstrated ultimate respect for the office for which he is running. He spoke from the heart. He spoke with obvious knowledge that he had done his homework, lots of it in fact. He displayed respect for the constituency. I still can't understand why a dozen candidates had to define "constituent" last night, but they found every way in the book to do so and still have an original answer.

I was most impressed that Steven has studied the issues and has walked the talk of learning how the city government operates by attending meetings and coming up with ideas to solve some of the major problems facing the city. What really impressed me was his literal walking the talk: he hopes to visit every home in Sandpoint and meet with the constituency one-on-one at least twice before the election. That's pretty amazing.

John and Mary, you did well. I'm so impressed with your son I may just forgive you for telling that story about me and the Festival john to your Rotary buddies. You've more than made up for any indiscretions aimed my way by rearing a tremendous young man who should serve the community of Sandpoint well, if he gets elected to the City Council.