St. Anthony, St. Anthony

I've known St. Anthony for two reasons: he's the patron saint of lost items. Often, "St. Anthony, St. Anthony---something's lost and can't be found; St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around" leads one to the lost item. Believe me, it has worked more often than not, although I still wish St. Anthony would have found our beloved golden retriever Pupper. Nonetheless, his batting average is pretty high.

I also learned throughout my life---probably even when I was five and stealing neighbors' mail, that if ya didn't behave, you could end up in St. Anthony. That was the place down in Southern Idaho where the naughty kids got sent.

Well, come to think of it this morning, maybe there is a method to why I'm going to St. Anthony today. Maybe this young authors conference is just a big ruse, and for all my bad behavior, I've finally made it here at age 60. So, if I don't come home, you'll all know that I finally got my due.

Actually, the official reason I've been told to go to St. Anthony today is to give a speech at South Fremont High School. I'll be doing that in a couple of hours. Young authors from Sun Valley, Ashton, Rexburg, and St. Anthony are coming to listen, and I'll talk about my criminal past and how it contributed to my writing career. So, it could be that the men in the jackets will come and get me when I'm all finished and lock me up in that place where bad kids go.

Getting to St. Anthony is not exactly easy. Well, from Rexburg, it's not bad. Bonnie, who asked me to keynote the young authors' conference, says St. Anthony is a 20-minute drive from here at the Americ-Inn. The high school is near the Snake River, and Bonnie takes her kids down to the river during different seasons of the year to write their observations. She's a tremendously dedicated teacher who works hard to see that kids in the area get all the writing opportunities possible, and she's warned me that they'll come armed with questions. So, I'm looking forward to the sessions today.

As mentioned before, yesterday's trip here was a long, circuitous one, to say the least. The most efficient means I found to get here after deciding not to chance it with driving was to drive to Spokane Airport, fly to Seattle, wait two hours (where I had a nice visit in the airport with my classmate Russ Green, who was headed to Las Vegas for a wedding), get on a Horizon flight to Bozeman, Montana, and finally fly into Idaho Falls. Bonnie met me at the airport, and we drove for half an hour to Rexburg. Tomorrow, if the men in jackets don't lock me up in "that place," I'll reverse the itinerary and hopefully end up in Sandpoint.

If I don't arrive home, as expected, tomorrow night, I sure hope someone will care enough to utter those words: St. Anthony, St. Anthony, Marianne's lost and can't be found; St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around."

Otherwise, you'll probably find me locked up in "that place."