Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bless your heart, Betty

I promised Betty a place in the Slightdetour spotlight yesterday. We were enjoying lunch at The Coeur d'Alene Hotel. I'd never met Betty before. We had talked on the phone and emailed, but yesterday was a first in the face-to-face category.

Betty is a retired first-grade teacher from Coeur d'Alene but originally from MINN-e SO-ta. She's also a shaker and doer in the 3 C's Book Club of Coeur d'Alene, and several months ago she invited me to join their list of monthly speakers for this year's reading season. That means they'll read my book Lessons with Love, and we'll talk about it next month.

Yesterday, they focused on The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. EWU college professor Tony Flynn led the discussion. I also learned that he is aka Kendall Feeney's hubby (she's the well-known Northwest contemporary pianist/instructor).

Having just completed my cousin Brendan's book, Dream City, I have had time to read only the first few chapters of Wall's memoir about growing up with eccentric, nomadic parents, but I was hooked after the first paragraph. Yesterday's discussion among the 125 book lovers was lively and insightful, to say the least.

After the morning program, we gathered for lunch, and Betty invited me to sit at her table. There were MINN-e-SOT-ans aplenty, and we North Idahoans learned quickly not to gripe about the weather. I kinda got the hint that weather gets discussed a whole lot more in MINN-e-SO-ta than it does in North Idaho. And, the opinions may not always be glowing.

Well, there was a lady from Indiana at the table, one from Great Falls/California, and another who had taught for eight years in one of the Carolinas. She talked of her naivete with some of the expected behavior within the state and with the true meaning of the local vernacular.

It was then that we learned that "Bless your heart," can really a veiled insult---but a diplomatic one. She said she thought everyone was being nice to her when they'd look at her lovingly and simply say, "Well, bless your heart." Apparently, she took it in stride until one day she learned the true meaning of the comment uttered by the well meaning locals.

"You're full of crap, but I love you anyway."

A rather nice, genteel putdown, if you ask me.

Well, after learning the true Carolinian translation of "Bless your heart," the luncheon-mates grabbed their pens and paper and jotted down the saying and its definition for further use. I promised Betty I'd put it to good use today.

And, she has unwittingly given me ample reason to fulfill my commitment.

Betty wrote me a note this morning after I had told her she appeared pretty well-preserved for a lady with a daughter just six years younger than I.

To which she wrote back something about you "skinny" girls putting on a few pounds if you want to look young.

To which, all I've got to say is "Thank you, Betty" for being the first person in my 61 years on this earth who ever referred to me as "skinny," and, of course, "Bless your heart, Betty."

You're so full of crap, but I love your for saying it. My self esteem has skyrocketed.

Now, to all you, readers, go out there and bless the hearts of all the people full of crap that you truly love. But don't ever tell 'em what you really mean!

In all seriousness, thank you, 3 C's, for a wonderful introduction to your group.

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