Cool pool, maybe

I was so exhausted last night that I told Bill to take my birthday present back to Cabela's before we opened the box.

"Let's forget this," I said. "Take it back. We don't need all this expense."

"What expense?" he asked.

"The extra water bill and the electricity for the filter," I said. "This is just too much."

The birthday present had been sitting--still in its box---in the new shop for more than a week. We have had no time to deal with it, but when we saw on the news that temperatures are sky-rocketing to the 90s by the end of the week, we knew it was time to get started assembling the "behind-the-barn" swimming pool.

This idea all started late last summer when I saw a similar model sitting in the yard where my classmate Ruthann and her family live over by the Selle tracks. I asked her about the pool and how they liked it. She was quite pleased, except for the water bill they incurred when they had to fill it twice.

"You've got to have level ground," she told me. "Otherwise, the water all goes out one side."

Well, I stuck that tidbit in my memory bank and thought, "By golly, next summer we'll have one of those, and then we won't have to drive for half an hour on the hot afternoons to take a dip in the lake just to come back and still be too hot."

When late spring came, I saw that Ruthann had moved her pool to a better spot. I also saw that Claire Hansen down there on North Center Valley Road still had his set up from last year. We noticed one over by Northside School, and just the other day, we spotted one at a residence on the North Kootenai Road.

I had planned to purchase the pool myself, but Bill beat me to it.

One day he said he was taking the 1989 gaz guzzler pickup with the loose steering wheel and the driver's side door that doesn't shut to Post Falls.

"I'm going to Cabela's and Costco," he said.

"What could he be buying at either of those stores that would require spending that much on gas and taking your life LITERALLY in your hands with a loose steering wheel?" That's what I thought but didn't asked questions cuz I knew my birthday was coming up.

Later that afternoon Bill returned with a box in the pickup box. It was about the size of a box in which a vacuum cleaner might come.

"Happy birthday," he said. "I bought you one of those pools." Well, when he found out that they come in a box that small, he also wondered why he took his life in his hands and spent that much money on gas when he could've put the thing in either of the other cars and still had room for the Costco buying binge.

Well, the box came out of the shop last night on a dolly. Bill wheeled it to the spot where I'd spent the day moving most of the pile of sand that Dennis Warren had delivered to the Lovestead the day before.

Ruthann said they got a couple of pickup loads of sand to make sure their pool was level. So, I, deciding that I didn't need to shovel all that sand, asked Dennis to bring us a truck load. Well, a dumptruck load is about ten times more sand than one would need to make sure one's 15-foot diameter pool is level.

So, I spent most of the day dumping loads on the sharp rocks that the horses hate while walking down the lane to the pasture. It was my first-ever experience at road building, and I must say it didn't turn out too bad. That Kubota with its loader makes things a lot easier than anything I've ever encountered with a shovel and unused muscles.

Still, I had physical labor to do. Lots of raking on the new road surface and even more back-breaking, sweaty toil as I slid a 12-foot board around the remaining sand pile, trying my best to level it. That was followed by more raking. I decided to mold the sand pile somewhat like a pie crust, with outer edges higher than the center. That way, thousands of gallons of water for which we'll pay Oden Water dearly should stay in the pool.

Well, that was my thought anyway. Bill and I spent a couple of hours out there last night---assembling. Did I ever mention that I hate assembling? I do, and since it was outside, the Meserves were likely to know for sure that I hate assembling. So, while Bill methodically read directions and performed the basic assembly, I found other projects to do within earshot, should he call upon his klutzy assistant.

My job eventually involved putting brackets around hose endings and tightning them up. Later, we worked in unison to manipulate the mass of heavier than hell vinyl and to keep it on its sand pedestal. All the while dogs who love hoses and water circled the workplace waiting for a chance to leap at the water or leap into the pool.

We will not allow our dogs---as much as we love them---into this pool. We'll bring the plastic doggie pool to the area so that they can frolick while we take our afternoon dips. That will happen when and if we ever get the thing filled with water.

Ruthann told me it takes the better part of a day. I can't just let the hose drain into the pool and go off about my business cuz that's precisely when water-loving dogs will head out there and take illegal dips of their own.

If all goes well, when the really hot weather comes and the sand pedestal is relatively level, we may enjoy a lovely Fourth of July weekend "near the pool." Now, it's not quite Hollywood style, but it will be wet and it will be handy. So, that's what counts. In addition to that, we may have a story or two to share.

I already have one precursor. When Bill told his colleague and friend TJ that we'd bought one of those pools, his first reaction was to say something about all the clips he'd seen from similar pool settings on "America's Funniest Home Videos."

I can't imagine such a thing.

Postscript: After four years of "Hail Mary" driving, Bill's gas guzzler now has a safe steering wheel. When Bill made arrangements with Jeff Kemp at Taylor-Parker to get it fixed, he posed a question to Jeff.

"Could it be possible that sometime I'd be driving on some treacherous mountain road and have the steering wheel come right off in my hands?" he asked.

"I really wouldn't want to answer that," Jeff wisely responded, "but I can tell you one thing: it's not gonna fix itself."

Well, the technicians fixed it, and one of these days they may even repair that door so Bill doesn't have to worry about falling over some cliff while driving that treacherous mountain road.