Sunday, December 09, 2018

Generous Cold




Hack, hack, hack. 

AHCHEW! AHCHEW! AHCHEW!

Drip, drip, drip.

Blow, blow, blow!


Hack, hack, hack. 

AHCHEW! AHCHEW! AHCHEW!

Drip, drip, drip.


Blow, blow, blow!

And, occasionally nod off!


Got that??????????????


If you don't, you will. 

I tried every possible tactic to avoid getting THE COLD.  

Stayed far away from my sisters who got started with it before Thanksgiving.

Washed my hands way more than usual. 

Took Airborne every day for several days.

Mid-week, I started on Zycam, the expensive spray drug which supposedly shortens your cold IF you spray at the first sign of a cold.



Who, the heck knows precisely when the first sign of a cold is going to hit ????? 

Imagine wanting to make sure you don't miss that moment, so you turn into a Zycam" concealed container carrier."

You're sitting in a meeting.  Suddenly, you feel a sneeze coming on.  

Never mind the it could be an allegic reaction to the perfume permeating under your nose after wafting your way from the person next to you. 

Suddenly, you sit up at full alert.  

Just as everyone is supposed to say "aye" on an important motion, you interrupt the proceedings.

 "Okay, got this!" you yell out. 

Suddenly, you become the object of a roomful of stares as you pull out that spray bottle which you've been "carrying and concealing" for several days.  

Wasting not one second, you stick it inside your mouth, pull a cheek out----spray.

Then, pull the other cheek out---spray.

Lift the upper lip, spray your top gum.  BTW: this gets a little messy as some of the spray may miss the target and will dribble down your face. 

Next, pull down your bottom lip, spray.

If that isn't enough, then, with your colleagues watching in total amazement, you turn that bottle upside down and spray the roof of your mouth. 

That done, you put the bottle back into its pocket, stare straight ahead, swish vigorously inside your mouth for 15 seconds and then swallow. 

Finally, you can say "aye." 

Then, you can also let everyone in the room know that they're gonna get THE COLD.

And, then, the vote goes down cuz in unison, everyone who's heard about the cold, yells out, "NO!" 

Apparently, I miscalculated on my exact first sign cuz my cold-----that I tried so hard not to get----feels very much like it wants to stick around for a while.  

After listening to me sneeze, blow and cough for several hours, Bill asked if he could borrow my Zycam. 

Well, those folks know how to make a profit cuz everyone's gotta get their OWN Zycam unless they think it's a good idea to stick the same spray bottle inside their mouths that has been operating inside a mouth that has caught the cold. 

Plus, I don't think Bill's so convinced that Zycam is gonna insulate him from THE COLD after watching my pre-cold efforts. 

After getting well into the second day of my cold (they call it a 'viral cold'),  I went down to Yoke's Pharmacy in search of relief.  

Fresh off from a week of remembering President George Herbert Walker Bush, I posed a question to the pharmacist.

 "Do you have a kind and gentle cold medicine," I began, adding, "one that doesn't make me feel all drugged up?"

After asking about my symptoms, she said Alka Selzer Plus would probably suit me just fine.  

That was good news because in my vast history of trying to get over colds, I do remember Alka Selzer with much more fondness than Coricidin and Vicks 44.

I do believe that cold medicines are designer drugs, made in individual fashion to suit individual noseblowers, hackers and sneezers. 

Today is third day in for THE COLD.  Yesterday the Alka Selzer gave me enough edge in the afternoon to get back some of my desire to do something else besides slouch on the couch.

Later, after watching the Kansas Jay Hawks come back to beat a feisty New Mexico, I took my second batch of "plop, plop, fizz, fizz----oh, what a relief it is," and slept like a baby clear through the night. 

Upon awakening this morning, I felt "zesty," almost like a new woman----well, in comparison to yesterday morning when attempting each individual movement from bed to bathroom took extra thought.  

This morning's burst of energy now seems to be rather short-lived, just as my sisters had told me the day I finally went to visit them, same day Laurie had sprayed their entire house with Lysol. 

I felt relatively safe sitting there in their living room as they told me about each day during the two weeks prior when, thinking they were finally cured, they went to do barn chores, only to return to the house worn out and eager to collapse.

So, I guess the only recourse in this state of sluggishness and slurping is to grin as much as possible and sneak in the projects right after the plop, plop, fizz, fizz portions of the day. 

Yesterday's misery was not a total loss.  

Willie's Bulldogs won their first game last night (55-29) in Bonners Ferry.  It has taken time, patience and learning.  Happily, last night a player who had sat on the bench all season with an injury came back and made a significant difference.

I was both amazed and proud of my son when I sent him a note of encouragement a while back after a loss.  

First, I wanted to let him know I was very proud watching him coach during that night which had to be total frustration. 

He never lost his cool.  He kept on calmly coaching and educating along the bench throughout.  Toward the end of that game, the lessons learned from the first half started turning into little victories. 

He wrote in his response to my note:  they're good kids and the best part, he wrote, they want to learn and get better. 

Looks like the strategy is working, and it's definitely a page out of life. 

Congrats to Willie and to the Bulldogs.

During couch slouch time, I also shed a tear or two, and I know Bill did too as we watched a Home Depot commercial during the Army-Navy game, featuring Sandpoint's Army Sgt. Brandon Adam, recipient of a Smart Home through the Stephen Siller Tunnel to Towers Foundation. 

Brandon and his family attended the game, and I must say that both Brandon and my brother Mike (West Point grad) were quite happy with the game's outcome as Army won for the third consecutive year.

All in all, yesterday was a day I don't care to repeat, but it had its good moments, and in the midst of this yucky cold, that is always a good thing. 

If I've gotta keep sneezing and coughing, I'm hoping for another day of good moments when the ZAGS (No. 1) take on the Tennessee Volunteers (No. 7) in Phoenix on ESPN at noon PST.  

Bet I don't nod off during that one!

GO, ZAGS!  Let's make it 10-0.   

   




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