Farewell, Betsy

One of the sweetest women in Sandpoint died yesterday. She will be sorely missed. Cancer eventually took Betsy Foster, but it will never erase the dear memories that so many people will cherish about their relationship with this wonderful human being. All who knew Betsy could easily reach into their bags and pull out a variety of heartfelt stories that eloquently illustrate her gentle, kind and gracious nature.

After reading of her passing, I found it difficult to concentrate on the Imus stories and commentary in this morning's paper because I was so distracted by intermittent thoughts of Betsy who embodied the antithesis of what we see every day in the Imuses, the Sterns and all the nasty tongues who profit and delight in flinging nasty barbs with every moment they enjoy on the air.

I doubt that Betsy could muster up too many unkind thoughts or utter an acerbic comment toward anyone. She was just too sweet, and that's how the town knew her as she and her husband Dick developed Foster's Crossing in downtown Sandpoint as a warm, hospitable must-stop for anyone interested in antiques, crafts or a delectable lunch or coffee treat.

We who knew her as a member of the coffee cult all felt pain over the last few years as we watched Betsy fight her cancer bravely. When she showed up for coffee cult, looking weak and frail, we were happy to see her. She probably relished the opportunity to put the disease aside for a few moments and enjoy some good ol' friendly gabbing with friends she'd known for years.

I first met Betsy in 1975. I thought she had just moved to town. That was correct, but I learned later that she was a Sandpoint long timer just like me. She had attended the high school in the early '50s, gone away and had returned home in the '70s. By that time, her youngest Liz was accompanying her to the first antique store down on Pine Street.

We met because the United States Bi-Centennial was coming up, and we signed up to be on the local committee to coordinate a community celebration. I didn't know enough to say no at the time and got appointed as chairman, while Betsy took responsibility as secretary. Eventually, when I realized the whole thing was a lot bigger than I could handle, Wally Staglund kindly took over and saw the Bonner County celebration to its fruition.

By that time, however, a friendship with Betsy and her family had been sealed. Through the years, I've known Betsy as a business owner where my mother spent many years working at the Country Loft upstairs at Foster's Crossing. My mother adored Betsy, and the feeling seemed mutual.

Over the years, I've known Betsy as a parent of three children, Bill, Barb and Liz and loving wife to Dick. It was fun to eventually have Liz as a student in my honors English class and to follow her high school and college career which took her to Duke University.

And, later, Liz married Steve Neuder, another of my many favored students. Of course, we attended the wedding where Dick and Betsy gave their youngest daughter off to the fine son of two highly respected Sandpoint people, Dick and Mary Neuder. I've enjoyed getting to know Steve and Liz's two lovely daughters.

I shared another distinction with Betsy. People in town used to get us confused with our then brown hair and big brown eyes. She was called Marianne a time or two, and I learned to answer to Betsy after two or three people began conversations with me that didn't quite make sense.

One of the better stories I heard came from Boots Reynolds, who claims he knows nobody's name. Betsy had gone to his house to talk about something dealing with their antique furniture business. Boots got on the phone to his wife Becky, who was in town, and was trying to tell her about this lady who'd shown up, unannounced. He described her appearance, and Becky still didn't know who it was. So, then he said she was that lady who wrote books.

Becky was at the other end scratching her head wondering why Marianne was out there talking furniture to Boots. Eventually the mystery was solved, and I didn't get any of Boots' antiques.

I wrote about my other favorite Betsy story a few weeks ago when telling about seeing her at Connie's Restaurant the morning Annie was born.

"Have you had that baby?" she asked as I walked past the booth where she and Dick were enjoying breakfast.

"No, but I'm headed over to the hospital to do so right now," I snapped back as matter-of-factly as if discussing the weather. Betsy reacted with her characteristic awe. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as I calmly walked out the door.

My heart goes out to all the Foster family, with whom we've enjoyed so many pleasant memories over the years. Betsy spread love wherever she went, and that love was particularly reflective in her children. The family has endured more than their share of tragedies with the loss of their son/brother Bill's daughter. And, now Betsy.

Her strength in adversity and her constant positive attitude will, no doubt, provide an enduring example for them and her many, many friends as the gravity of this loss sets in. Betsy Foster was one fine, sweet woman who contributed so much to this community through her constant radiance, grace and sincerity.

Farewell to a fine friend. Thanks for the memories.