Sittin' here on dial-up

I forgot what I was going to write about today. That's cuz I've been sitting here for ten minutes watching an email download one percent every minute with the blogger dashboard going neck and neck alongside it. Since I sat down at approximately 7:40 a.m., according to the behind-time clock on this computer, that email has downloaded 40 percent. The slow clock now reads 7:54 a.m. so maybe I exaggerated on just how slow it was going.

But I'm betting that all you folks out there who have entered the 21st Century with your broadbands and your DSL's would never stand for such a thing. Well, we don't have much choice around these parts, unless we want to spend an arm and a leg and go satellite. I've heard tell that it's not the best either.

So, I'm late with my blog this morning, and during my last paragraph, that email downloaded ten more percent. That means that when I'm finished with my blog, which I still can't remember the topic, maybe that email will have downloaded. It's at 55 percent now.

Maybe I'll talk about C.J. and his Blue Heaven book for a while. He's going to be in Sandpoint this afternoon at Vanderford's, so all you local folks tell your friends and head on down there to the bookstore from 2-4 p.m. to get your autographed copy.

I'm kinda surprised there wasn't much in the local paper about his visit to Sandpoint, especially since the book's setting is right here in the area. Maybe the stuff he says in his fictional account about those crooked LA cops didn't set well with someone so they're keeping news of the book out of the papers. I kinda doubt that though. Sometimes news just doesn't make the papers.

But you read it here on Slightdetour, and if I can ever get that email downloaded, I can get ready to go to town for C.J.'s signing. We're now at 80 percent download on that email, and I've had time to go to the bathroom and look up on amazon.com how the book is doing. It's in the top 1,000, so not too bad----and C.J. hasn't even headed to Southern California yet where his big audience resides.

Anyway, about this downloading debacle, we're at 90 percent now; the slow clock reads 8:06 a.m., and I'm sure my horse Lefty would like me to come out and let him out of the barn. I have found a way to avoid the slow emails with my dial-up, but this one got started today before I had a chance to send it back to the main post office. If you're gonna send me anything bigger than 10 k, write me a note first and I'll tell you where to put it.

Well, don't take that wrong; I do have an email address that downloads stuff a lot faster than the Imbris account. Hey, it just hit 100 percent. Let's see who this wonderful person with blazing fast Internet service is: It's that damn Boots with his 5963-forward about the gym. He claims that he doesn't have high-speed Internet, so I'm guessing he just pushes the "send" button on his computer and then goes about his daily chores.

I've told that Boots several times not to send me those movies and huge forwarded jokes, but Boots is getting old. He CRS (can't remember shit); in fact, earlier today he sent me the same forward he sent yesterday about some IDIOT who couldn't get his computer to work.

It's 8:15, and I've wasted enough of my day waiting for that email, so I'd better get off this damn dial-up machine and get something done. See you at Vanderford's this afternoon. C.J. is a good-lookin' Wyoming cowboy, by the way. So you can count on some good reading and some nice scenery!