All these gizmos

First, it was one follower. Then, it was two. Next time I noticed, I had four and then three. Now I'm back to two. Must be two were just trying me out for size and didn't like what they saw. Anyway, I have "followers" on my blog. I know that because the icon on my dashboard tells me so.

A couple of weeks ago another foreign creature showed up on my list of blog options: monetize.

I had no idea where that came from, so I clicked on it, and it said I could earn money for writing my blog. That money would come through ads posted along with whatever I have to say each day.

Somehow, I don't think what I have to say on some days is worthy of earning money from unsightly commercialism. I prefer to remain "pure" as a blogger. Owe nuthin' to no one, and that way you can say as you darn-well please. That's my mantra.

This morning I noticed cell phone and envelope icons on my dashboard. For non-bloggers, the dashboard is the place where you drive yourself through the blog mechanisms, specifically where you've been and where you might be going with a "new post."

I'm afraid to click on the cell phone and the envelope for fear I might have received a crank call or a poison pen letter overnight. After all, I satirized yesterday, and sometimes when I satirize people don't like it. So, I'm gonna leave that phone and that envelope alone until another day when my curiosity gets the best of me.

The blog nation is busy all the time adding new gizmos to our range of possibilities. I've noticed my Hotmail is doing the same thing by offering a network and reminding me of whom I may want to include in my network by showing a small group of names and email addresses each time I open the program.

It really bugs me every time I go into Hotmail to learn that my network folks, whom I have yet to select, "haven't done anything lately."

Do I care?

I can post my birthday on my Hotmail network, but I've got my birthday on Facebook, and, speaking of Facebook, talk about a place where stuff happens. I would venture to say that to be a Facebook pure addict, one would require at least 24 hours to get caught up on all the things offered each day which you can do to learn about yourself and to spy on others.

My list of possibilities sits there untapped. Oh, by the way, cousin Brendan, I do not plan to ignore your invitation to buy "Indie" on whatever day that is.

"Buying Indi" means you're going to support ONLY independent bookstores on that day. And, if Brendan will send me the list, I'll post the independent bookstores where you can purchase his book and mine.

After all, I'd rather earn my money by selling books than posting on my blog every morning.

If you're in the Facebook crowd, you can take a test to learn some of the most off-the-wall things about yourself and about everyone else in your Facebook circle.

Over the weekend, there was a glut on Easter egg decorating (Gina Emory really got into that one), and several of my FB friends have been learning what famous horses they most resemble----in mentality rather than physicality, of course.

But then again, I wouldn't be surprised if a few horses have signed up for Facebook. Hey, that gives me an idea.

Next time I go to Facebook, I think I'll sign my Lily up. I'll give her an email address, and I'll start a Miss Lily fan club. After all, I signed up for DICKS Hamburgers fan club a while back.

So far, I've not received notice of any upcoming gatherings at the funky hamburger joint in Spokane which has its loyal cult following, but if there is one, I'll be sure to tell Bill. Maybe he'll go there to buy some fish and chips and plant a geocache at the same time.

Yup, there's a lot you can do to waste your time on the Internet, and now that all those crazy distractions are starting to appear on my blog dashboard, I may have to drive somewhere else to have my fun.

Wherever it is, you can be sure I'm not gonna "monetize," and that it's fine with me if you don't want to be my "follower."