It's a "drive-by" story as I see it

There's much ado about drive throughs in Sandpoint. Everyone's in a tizzy. Even I've been in a tizzy over this issue, but the more I look at it, the story seems to be more drive-by in nature than anything else----and it's precisely the kind of news that sells.

When you drive by and shoot at something, you never quite know for sure what you're going to hit. And, if you do hit something, there's sure to be a reaction. At least, that's the way it seems from the movies and the stories where I've learned about drive-by's.

The day I first heard about this issue arising, our newspaper was late. It was Saturday morning, and I had to go to Coeur d'Alene. Naturally, I was feeling like something was missing cuz I hadn't had a chance to get my fix and glance through the news before hitting the road.

Just as I got in my car, I noticed the papers had finally arrived, so I went to the paperbox and brought them to the house, taking a cursory look at what was new in Sandpoint.

I saw the banner headline above the fold, saying Sandpoint was gonna ban drive-throughs, and I saw the full-color aerial photo of a portion of Sandpoint's quickly developing West end.

In the photo I noticed the bright red roof on Zips, one of the newer drive-through restaurants owned by one of our Sandpoint City Council members. That's how I knew it was the west end of town.

That's about as much thought as I put into the headline and the photo below, except to think that "drive throughs" probably meant those places with big parking lots next to stop lights/signs at busy intersections where people get sick and tired of waiting and take a shortcut through the parking lot to get where they're going----sorta like that one at the Travelers---oops, Mitzy's on Fifth Avenue.

I've seen firsthand my friend Brian Spade get mad when people do that to catch a quicker route to Schweitzer by zipping through the Sand Creek Conoco lot, so I figured there was probably some wisdom behind banning "drive through's" especially coming from business owners.

Well, I was taught and I taught my journalism students for years never to ASS-U-ME, and I learned yesterday that I had broken one of my cardinal rules when I had assumed incorrectly and learned that drive-throughs are those things I've used for years when my kiddies were little and I had to do my banking and I didn't want the kiddies and me to have to go park somewhere, walk to the bank, make a ruckus and completely miss out on the free lollipops.

I think about all those lollipops Willie and Annie consumed over the years and how the window tellers gave them to the drive-through customers with little kids so the kids wouldn't come in the bank get a lollipop, stick it in the mouth, take it out, fondle it, get it all over their hands and then wipe off the sticky stuff all over the fancy bank chair where some customer might come in to sit while waiting to get one of those loans that seem to have been causing so much havoc with our economy.

Since Willie and Annie eventually grew up and went on their own to get their lollipops somewhere else, I've taken my doggies through the drive-throughs. My doggies learned quickly where the drive-through's were and which ones gave the best biscuits. I've actually had a dog wake up from a deep sleep as I turned into a drive-through parking lot, just to be good and ready for the tasty handout.

Now that I have two dogs, I don't want to break the bank (they've had enough help) so I don't take them to town to do my drive-through banking. Instead, I've been taking my mother quite often lately. She uses a walker to get where she needs to go on the ground, so she really appreciates being able to just sit in the car and take care of her banking at the window.

After reading the stories, I began to wonder where we were going to have to park downtown if drive through's got banned in our "walking" town and how far my 88-year-old mother was gonna have to push that walker through our walking town to get to the bank, especially if it's in the summer when all the parking spots are filled by noon.

I was getting really worried about that, but my worries somewhat subsided when I watched the news on the TV station last night, and they said it really wasn't quite the same story we had read in the first place. So, I was more confused than ever when I watched that rather disjointed television news story, and I thought to myself, as an old journalist, why are they getting rid of all the journalists who know how to get a story right.

I still didn't know what the deal was about these drive-through's being banned in Sandpoint, but I sure knew it was making headlines far outside the boundaries of our little town, and that people were doing a lot of head scratching and maybe a little laughing about yet another controversy in that little North Idaho town, which seems to reap more than its share of national headlines.

Then, I got to thinking that maybe it was all just a journalistic ploy. Maybe if just enough facts to make people really mad got printed in that one newspaper story, a whole lot more newspaper stories would have to come along afterward to explain it all, and a whole lot of letters to the editor would get written, and that would sell a whole lot of newspapers.

And, we all know about the newspaper business in this tough economy. Those that are still alive could use all the help they can get to stay alive----and in Sandpoint, we no longer have the 50-year Byway controversy to argue about anymore. Furthermore, the most recent school levy passed, so what's there to talk about?

Well, we've got drive-throughs, and I have a feeling in this "walking town" of ours that story is gonna have a lot of legs before it ever gets resolved.

In the meantime, I'm telling my dogs not to worry cuz they'll still give biscuits at the Bonner County transfer station, and I'm telling my mother---well, I don't know what I'm gonna tell my mother, but I know what she's told me----and that is that banning drive-throughs at the banks and restaurants in Sandpoint is the stupidist thing she's ever heard of.

As far as the kids and their sticky lollipops----that's for someone else to figure out. And, then there's that new rule coming after the drive-through issue----about bright red roofs on Zips and orange Home Depot pollution and such.

We've got good times ahead in keeping Sandpoint in the bright lights of national journalistic prominence. But didn't I hear somewhere about a light pollution issue too?

Please enlighten me.