Friday, November 02, 2012

From Foster at the Farm

Good Morning,

My mom is kinda lazy today so she said I could do the blog.  She figures that since I've been to school four weeks in a row, I can handle this assignment.

We have two more weeks of school, but we'll be absent next week cuz of parent conferences.  

My mom wonders what's gonna happen to parent conferences for humans when students are taking all those laptop courses.

Well, as a lap dog, I really don't care.

My mom comes to school with me, so I don't think there's a need for parent conferences.

The human kids still have them, though, so my friends Jessie and Meggie can't go to doggie obedience school next Thursday cuz their moms are teachers, who have to talk to human parents about their kids.

So, my mom decided that I could miss class next week and do the make-up course with Meggie and Jessie. 

I don't know when we're gonna do it, but it's gotta be quick cuz doggie obedience graduation is in two weeks. 

I'm glad to know that I can miss class next week cuz last night just about wore me out.

We had a substitute teacher, and she had an assistant, and they worked us through drills with hardly any breaks for more than an hour. 

The only good thing about this intense session was all those bacon treats my mom gave me.  We had to walk and sit and get a treat and then walk and sit and eat another treat . . . .  

We did that about 100 times, it seems.

Then, we had to sit politely in front of our masters while other dogs walked between our chairs.  We couldn't bark, sniff or stand up or do anything fun.  

Mom kept stuffing a treat in front of my nose every time a dog came along, so I liked that.

After that exercise we had to do "meet and greet" with other dogs and their owners.  Again, we had to sit or lie perfectly still and not jump up in excitement.

That was really, really hard for me whenever Jessie and her mom Laurie or Meggie and her mom Barbara walked up and pretended they'd never met my mom before.

Pretty fakey, if you ask me.  

During the last part of the class we had to do the exercise where other people take us by a long leash (about 20 feet away from my mom)  and try to stuff food down our mouths as a distraction.

No amount of food is gonna distract me or make me want to leave my mom, so they had to drag me down the floor----twice.  

I wanted to cry out, "I want my mommy  . . . I want my mommy," but that choker chain kinda limits my ability to scream.

I can tell you, for sure,  that I was best in the class at sprinting back to my mom. 

There was one time at last night's session when I wasn't best.

That's when my mom had the audacity to reach over next to her and try to pet Quigley.  

He's  a great big Gulliver-type pooch from Burma or some place like that---same color as me but with feet bigger than my head.

I saw my mother's hand go over to his head and couldn't stand it.  

I may be small, but my growl is huge, shrill, snappy and really scary.  No way did my Mom get to pet Quigley. 

Only problem was that one of the teachers came over and told my mom to take "Foster for a walk and make him think about other things."

It was hard for me to think about anything else at that moment, but I remembered my manners and complied. 

Toward the end, when the teachers weren't looking, I finally had some fun.  

Jessie was next to me, so we kissed and rolled on the floor together like we always do at their house.  

It made me feel good to know I had a true, loyal friend in that room, especially after getting in trouble and having the teacher single me out.  That was kind of embarrassing.

I'm sure a laptop would not do that to a lapdog.

Oh well, I do kinda like school, and I know it's good for me---especially all the bacon goodies. 

Didn't Pavlov come up with a great idea?

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