During the past few months, I've thought a lot about launching an important project. It would be patterned after the "Where's Elmo?" challenge; in this case, I'd call it "Where are the Locals?" I want to do this and possibly publish a guide to exclusive local hangouts because wherever locals dare to gather, I learn so much from the hot talk about some of the imported insanity that's invading our space.
I saw in today's Daily Bee letters-to-the-editor that some unnamed locals must have gotten together to have a conversation about another well-known local's ritzy development project at Dover Bay. The alleged discussion focused on why full-page Dover Bay ads keep appearing in the local paper when several locals pooling all the financial resources they could muster still couldn't even afford to make a payment on the downpayment for even the cheapest parcel within the development.
While engaging in another conversation the other day at a venue where locals gather regularly, I was amazed at the story I heard about the interview process that seems to be occurring in the "strategic-selection-of-those-who-would-be-my-neighbors" department. Seems some gal has purchased some lakeview property on the side of a mountain somewhere and she's had five fancy houses built. To ensure that she doesn't have to hobnob with any less-than-desirable rednecks, hicks or country bumpkins (there are varying degrees ya know), she's held interviews with potential buyers to see if they fit her needs as proper neighbors.
Now, I don't know if this is just a myth to go along with all that urban renewal stuff we keep reading about in the paper along with the Dover Bay ads, but if it's true, the times they are a changin' since the first few decades of the 1900s when folks from the Midwest showed up here in droves, along with their cattle, kids and dogs. I'm wondering if there was any interviewing going on then. I kinda doubt it, based on the socio-economic distribution that has, throughout my life, forced both rich and poor to coexist here and happily so.
Another topic came up in that conversation the other day. It's a question I've pondered for some time, and I still haven't found someone to properly answer it, especially as I see huge house after huge house scab away the trees and foliage from our beautiful mountains surrounding our beautiful lake. If the local yocals were so stupid all this time, how were they able to exist here for so many generations and still maintain the serenity and "pristine" ambiance that attracted this latest wave of beautiful people to our area? Just a question.
The aforementioned thoughts were not the only venom spewing from the lips of these folks who've made other observations about changing times in good ol' Sandpit, Idaho. In this conversation, I also learned about "Ughs or Uggs." Now, I've never heard the term until that conversation, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. I looked 'em up and, sure enough, I've seen 'em before.
They're a pretty smart-looking boot with their sheepskin tops---great for winter-time shopping when ya want to impress folks at Coldwater Creek----but the context of this conversation did make me wonder. Seems a woman from outside our local network showed up at a summer resort's neighborhood party on a 95-degree day with big hair, big enhanced lips, big enhanced boobs and Uggs.
I think she probably had some clothes on---maybe even a thong---but those reporting on this freak of North Idaho nature apparently didn't consider the rest of her ensemble too notable in describing the picture. The admittedly-skeptical observers at the party did wonder what kind of fashion statement she hoped to make among the regular folks who were clad in shorts and t-shirts.
This tongue-wagging about the craziness that's taken over our town will go on, I'm sure, wherever locals choose to congregate. And, those places are getting harder and harder to find. I can name a few, and if any other readers out there want to help me assemble my exclusive list of venues where everybody knows your name--even your last one---and loves to hear what you're thinkin', I'll be happy to take your suggestions.
Of course, before releasing any copies of this sure-to-be-sought-after guide and to stay in harmonious concert with the changing times, I'll be conducting interviews to see if recipients fit my concept of true-blue and trustworthy local yocals.