I propose a Potatohead Political Bowl

Okay, I've heard enough about Iowa. Why is it that Iowa gets to set the trend in Presidential races? Is it because they signed up first? What infinite wisdom do cornhuskers have that Potatoheads don't? It's time Potatoheads got out of the shadows and had a chance to have some say in Presidential politics other than our usual muffled-out sputters.

I've stated in an earlier blog that before passing on to the Greater Unknown, I'd like to at least lay eyes on a real live President. The chances of that happening are minimal to none, as I see it----unless, of course, I want to spend a bunch of money and hang out in Washington, D.C., hoping to see through the windows of one of those black cars with shaded windows and sirens screaming.

It's time the big-time politicians cared about what gives in our state----other than restroom tappers. Let's not allow that national disgrace reflect upon the values most Idahoans share----that we're tired of being forgotten nobodies who don't seem to matter one iota in the grand scheme of national elections. I'm betting we could count on one hand the number of Presidential candidates who come to visit our state in any given election year.

Let's see. I heard about Obama coming to Nevada; all the Idaho political junkies in the South part of the state went down there to see him. The Idaho state chair for the Obama campaign told me he didn't get to meet him but did at least lay eyes on him---in Nevada.

Mayor Rudy Giuliani came to Coeur d'Alene, and I foolishly thought he was actually going to visit with the blue collars rather than the bluebloods. I learned quickly that was just by video---that if I really wanted to see Rudy, I'd have to know Duane. Since I don't know Duane, laying eyes on Rudy wasn't an option. Besides, Rudy and his extra-marital record has been thrashed to shreds, so I doubt he'll be President. From what I've observed, with the exception of restroom liaisons, Republicans can't do extra-marital affairs but Democrats can.

With this in mind, I think it's time we Idahoans took matters into our own hands and effected a major change in the way this country determines its Presidential candidates. I propose a Potatohead Political Bowl to be held each election year on the Smurf Turf in BSU's Bronco Stadium in Boise on Jan. 1.

After all, the Humanitarian Bowl is played in Boise before the New Year, so the stadium would already be primed for a political extravaganza of the same or bigger magnitude. I'll bet that Boise State football players could even help the Secret Service with stadium security, especially watching for kinky stuff going on in the men's restrooms.

Potatohead delegates chosen from all over the state for both parties could converge on Boise along with all the Presidential candidates. Sure, Iowa could still hold its caucus on Jan. 3, but we all know how that vicious Midwestern winter often keeps caucus goers from braving the cold and the snow. Boise doesn't get too much snow, and, besides, they could bring heaters into the stadium, along with lots of food venues, art displays, magicians and music.

Delegates could mill around the stadium for a few hours, shaking hands with candidates as they all sample Tater Tots, huckleberry products and Litehouse dressings on their giant baked potatoes. After all, I'm sure by now that Presidential candidates who keep running and hoping to get elected are sick and tired of those corn ears, diner pancakes and bacon, and dried-up pizzas.

It's time for a change, especially after learning last night from Katie Couric that Iowa doesn't have nearly the demographic diversity we enjoy here in Idaho (mostly old people, lots of pig, corn and soybean farmers, and very few Blacks). Heck, here in Idaho we have our share of farmers, lots of computer nerds and even movie stars. I think this idea would make Hollywood folks really happy. Besides, everyone is always getting Iowans and Idahoans mixed up anyway, so why not take advantage of the confusion?

I think the event would also be a great hit for those folks who are tired of watching Potty bowls, Tostito Bowls and Asparagus Bowls for two weeks straight, but let's give em a break and take a cue from the football "Bowl" concept.

With the first-ever Idaho Potatohead Political Bowl, featuring a carnival atmosphere of meeting, greeting and lots of promising, the delegates could then get together in designated sections of the stadium and decide who Idaho is going to launch on their ways to Presidential prominence. Then, the yelling and screaming could begin, led by BSU cheerleaders, of course.

The revenue generated by this event could be phenomenal for both the tourist and potato industries, and think of what a breath of fresh air it would be for TV reporters to come up with the most clever blue-smurf-turf story for the national airwaves.

I think this event has oodles of possibilities, and I hope someone sends along my suggestion to that Donny Deutsch guy who has the "Big Idea" show on CNBC. With his marketing and advertising background and his friendship with The Donald, he's got clout, and maybe he could make it happen.

And, if he does make it happen, maybe I stand a better chance of actually laying eyes on a real live President.