Friday, April 01, 2016
An Auspicious Day, Indeed: the BIG REVEAL
This day has finally arrived. I could not be happier. For 39 years, I have waited for the opportunity to give my son a new name. When you have a husband named William and a dog named William (in Irish anyway) and a son named William (the third, that is), life gets confusing.
Today, I can call my son Jack. He has finally, after all these years, come of age, and having always admired Jack Benny for being 39, I longed for the day when Willie would reach that chronological milestone in life.
Happy Birthday, Jack. I hope you have a wonderful year as a 39-year-old. Now, it's time to learn to play the violin and tell dry jokes with a stone face about life.
Getting to call Willie "Jack," is not the only reason for my great anticipation of this day.
Through undisclosed sources (or the new journalism) and through my great sense of intuition (it's carried me through many a burden over the years), I have, for many months, known that this would be a significant day in the modern history of our country.
It would be a day to put MYIllions of minds at ease as we finally get on track toward electing a new President of the United States.
This is the day that Donald Trump will officially reveal to all living in fear that he has actually played a significant role in what surely the biggest hoax in American history.
All those vile, ludicrous or idiotic things he has tweeted late at night or insults that he has uttered in public forums to and about virtually everyone and every institution of note in this country, which pose the slightest obstacle to his elevation as the Supreme being here in the United States and on Earth------they were all really a well-planned ruse.
The Donald really wanted to see just how low he could stoop and just how low the gullible electorate would stoop in accepting his every word.
After today's announcement that his Presidential election campaign has really been one of the grand sociological and political experiments of modern history and that even though his candidacy has certainly brought more personal attention and adoration than Donald could have ever imagined (even though it was all inspired by negative reasons), today, April 1, 2016, he must let the people know that he really did not mean anything he has said since declaring his Presidential intentions.
Today we will see the REAL Donald Trump, not the hideous, disturbing, mean-spirited alter ego that has provoked so many incredulous and fearful Americans to start plotting the best route OUT of the country BEFORE that epic wall is built.
Today, Donald Trump will be humble. He will be empathetic.
He will be repentant and will issue few of his own apologies to the people from which he has demanded apologies on a daily basis for months. He will also announce that all those promised lawsuits were simply ploys to help the grand experiment to move forward.
He will tell the truth from this day forward, and he will not boast about his supreme omniscience.
He will never use the familiar "MYILLIONS and MYILLIONS" or "BYILLIONAIRE" again. He will admit that not everyone LOVES him and that America is really not nearly as bad as the superficial, frightening picture he has presented on the campaign trail.
In fact, he will actually acknowledge that America is a great country with many, many reasons to be proud.
He will add that our nation is always a work in progress and that his ultimate goal will simply aspire to build upon this nation's strong foundation and that he will humbly do his best to improve the concept in readiment for the next person chosen to lead us on into the future.
Donald Trump will cast aside the phrase "political correctness" and will assure us that he really does know and appreciate the difference between "respect" and "political correctness," thereby showing respect for the office of the Presidency of the United States by---from this day forth----by elevating his rhetoric and his appreciation/respect for those who do their best to represent the American people with dignity.
He will apologize for the countless sweeping generalizations he has uttered and forcefully repeated, lumping all members of certain religions or ethnic backgrounds into one ugly basket.
Along with that, he will acknowledge that there are always a few bad apples in every basket and that the whole should never be judged solely by its individual parts.
There will be no more adolescent, degrading insults at Trump forums or rallies or on Twitter directed at women journalists or candidates wives or toward women in general.
He will assure us that today and on all subsequent days leading up to the Presidential election, he will conduct his campaign on merit, on thoroughly researched facts and with ultimate respect for the American people and for the office which he seeks.
Yes, today is the BIG REVEAL for Donald Trump. He will use a segment of his usual 24-7 cable news coverage, highlighted with another name besides BREAKING NEWS.
Instead, it will be called GOOD NEWS. Donald Trump's big reveal: up to this day his campaign has been not only a joke but also a monumental experiment.
He now has acquired enough data to show just how many gullible people there are out there, and he will use his resources to get them the help they need to thoroughly research facts so that they can detect the difference between big whoppers and the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
As a person who always holds out hope that everyone has the potential for decency, kindness, intelligent leadership and respect for others even if they hold different views, I am very excited today.
I can't wait to hear Donald Trump issue his two-word truly earth-shattering BIG REVEAL today in the "GOOD NEWS" breakaway from the drivel: APRIL FOOLS!