Beauty isn't always just skin deep. Sometimes it's just not there. And, when they say someone had a face that only a mother could love.
Well, some cookies have an appearance that would scare even the meanest of cookie monsters away.
I don't know if Bill selected any from this plate to take in his lunch today. I do know that I encouraged him a couple of times, and he just kinda grunted.
These are my first and last attempt to come up with a prototype for some real, true-to-life lemon-filled Oreo-ho-hos.
I call them Oreo-ho-hos because I don't want to get into any copyright or patent infringements.
I also dubbed them Oreo-ho-hos after they came out of the oven and I used three tools to try to get them to separate from the bottom of the baking dish.
They turned out to be pretty much a joke.
Here's the ho-ho story.
It was raining and snowing yesterday. That's not really news---just a scene setter.
I believe some of us here are finally submitting to the idea that waiting for it to stop raining is not gonna get a lot of stuff done.
I'd already done my stint outside in my snowpants during the morning hours, raking out a few other flower spots and picking up dog droppings.
That's about all I wanted to do in the rain, so I spent several hours indoors.
Part of that time was spent doing some family research, and the rest involved fulfilling a notion that has been swirling around in my head ever since that terrorist said those Oreos I brought to the book club meeting were not lemon-filled . . . just yellow-filled.
That notion actually evolved from all these people who read my blog and believed that I had actually found lemon-filled Oreos at the grocery store and went looking themselves to come up empty-handed.
I figured if the combination sounded so good to them, maybe I could develop such a cookie and get a corner on the market.
Well, after yesterday, I'm not quite ready to call my banker to figure out what to do with the investments.
As I explained to my daughter-in-law yesterday---if I took some Betty Crocker brownie mix and made thin slabs of chocolate stuff instead of full-fledged puffed up brownies, I could have the makings for those stuffed cookies.
I could remove the slabs from the pans, cut 'em in squares and then put some of that lemon-flavored frosting in between for sandwiches.
So, the day before I had already picked up the brownie mix and spent a fortune for a tiny bottle of lemon extract.
When the yucky weather drove me inside, I decided it was time to go into my creative cooking project.
So, I got out the bowls, the mix and went to work. Yes, I did put oil in the bottom of the baking pans.
Well, the buzzer rang in the oven, and I checked the slabs. Still soft.
So, I left them for ten more minutes.
After taking them out of the oven, I left them to cool and whipped up the high-priced frosting.
When it was time to make the first ever Lovestead original Oreo-ho-ho, I realized very quickly it would be a time-consuming process.
First, I tried removing a few squares with a knife. Then, I moved on to the fancy metal pancake turner Bill bought at Merwin's.
The squares held tight.
Then, I pulled out the cake spatula, purchased at Panhandle Animal Shelter's thrift store last week. It's pointed and sharp.
Still no luck.
So, I spent considerable time, slowly working the orginal spatula beneath the slab squares. Some squares exploded into several tiny pieces in the process.
I was able to remove a few but not without considerable bodily injury---not to myself but the cookies, as you can see in the photo.
Still not daunted, I figured they might not look pretty but they'd surely taste good.
I slopped on some frosting and made a few cookie sandwiches.
Of course, I ate the prototype. Overall assessment: chewy, a bit crunchy but tasty.
What's on the plate is the grand total made from two boxes of brownie mix.
After chipping away for another ten minutes or so, I took the pyrex dishes full of cemented brownie slabs and filled each with water.
They sat on the counter for a couple of hours, allowing the cooked dough to separate from the pan and turn into a bread-and-milk consistency.
Water was drained off; brownie dough went into a garbage bag.
I suppose I could have turned over the slabs to the dogs---but I have been formerly warned about feeding brownies to dogs.
Besides, even their sharp teeth could never have scraped the stuff from the pan.
I told Bill this morning about my lame efforts to come up with the cookie of the century.
"Well, there's a reason Oreo's have a patent and a corner on the market," he commented.
Now that I've shared this story, I'll go downstairs and see if he ever took any of the pathetic attempts at Lovestead Oreo-ho-hos with his lunch today.
My overall conclusion: somebody needs to write to the Oreo company and tell them to come up with a lemon-filled cookie.
I bet they'd make millions, cuz they don't have to worry about competition from the Lovestead Oreo-ho-hos.