76 Lashes

 

I don't know if I ever received a spanking to celebrate my birthday. 

I have received spankings for other reasons. 

If the tradition were still happening with one swat for each year, I'm wondering who among my elders would have energy enough to get the job done. 

Lord knows that the target would be hard to miss.

 Still, for me to bend over long enough, remaining somewhat upright, while receiving 76 swats and for the inflictor to swing all those swats---I'm wondering what kind of picture that would be, both at the beginning and at the end. 

Somebody may need to be recuscitated before it's over.

Somebody might even toot a time or two. 

It's for sure that a bystander would have be present to officiate/calculate the event, lest the older inflictOR suffer a memory lapse halfway through the process and have to start all over.

And, it's almost a given that either the inflictee or the inflictOR or both would fall to the floor and then would have to be yanked up.  

So there need to be some paramedics handy.  

Now, please---if you are reading this---don't get any sadistic ideas of how much fun this could be cuz if you do, I can't run fast, let alone run at all to get away from you.  

But then again, please consider that you have to be older than I am to function as an inflictOR, so I guess I don't need to worry about running, unless maybe you race after me with a wheelchair. 

Anywho, it's birthday day, and I doubt that Bill has hired 76 trombones to come and serenade the event. 

But he and Annie have bought some food, and family will bring some, so we'll eat well today.

In all seriousness, I appreciate the gift of life and another opportunity to celebrate this special day. 

'Tis truly a cliche by now in my long life that every single day is a gift.  

Speaking of which, another longheld tradition with birthdays is to give gifts.

  

A few years back, I got a head start on my younger sisters when I never even considered spanking them for each year of their respective lives.  

Instead, I started giving them a dollar for each year of their age.  

Pretty good deal, right, but they keep getting older, and it's costing me more every year.  

There has been a good side to this plan, however.  They decided to reciprocate by giving me a dollar for each year. 

Little did they figure that I would hang on a lot longer than they ever anticipated, so it's a whole lot more expensive for them than for me. 

But then again, there are two of them so it sorta evens out. 

Now, back to the seriousness of the day.  It is a gift, and today especially because it's also a beautiful day. 

When it all comes down to it, I think we all agree that the greatest gifts besides life are our friends (four-legged and two), our family and the beautiful wonders of the natural world. 

For the most part, we get to enjoy all of the above every single day!

And, that is good!

Happy Sunday. 

Now, I have to figure out how to get out of this chair and get my legs in motion. 

💚💛💜💓💖